#1

[after singing “Over the River and Through the Woods to Grandmother’s House We Go”]

Charlie Brown: Well, there’s only one thing wrong with that.
Linus van Pelt: What’s that, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: My grandmother lives in a condominium.

#2

Charlie Brown: Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath?
Patty: It isn’t even Thanksgiving yet.
Charlie Brown: Would you like to buy a Thanksgiving wreath?

#3

Lucy Van Pelt: I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid toys or a bicycle or clothes or something like that.
Charlie Brown: What is it you want?
Lucy Van Pelt: Real estate.

#4

Charlie Brown: Next year I’m going to be a changed person.
Lucy: That’s a laugh, Charlie Brown.
CB: I mean it! I’m going to be strong and firm!
Lucy: Forget it… you’ll always be wishy-washy! (she leaves)
CB: Why can’t I change just a little bit? (shouts) I’ll be wishy one day and washy the next!

#5

Sally Brown: How do you spell your name?
Charlie Brown: I’m your brother, and you don’t even know how to spell my name?
Sally Brown: I’ll put down “Sam”. I know how to spell that.

#6

Violet: What are you two standing here looking so worried about?
CB: We’re afraid of the future!
Violet: Are you worried about anything in particular?
CB: Oh, no. We’re worried about everything!
Linus: Yes, our worrying is very broadminded!

#7

Violet: It simply goes without saying that you are an inferior human being!
CB: If it goes without saying, why did you say it?

#8

Lucy: In our house we don’t allow dogs to beg at the table!
Snoopy: I’m not begging. I was just sitting here and happened to be facing your way.

#9

Lucy: Why do you think we’re put here on earth Charlie Brown?
CB: To make others happy.
Lucy: I don’t think I’m making anyone very happy. Of course nobody’s making ME very happy either. SOMEBODY’S NOT DOING HIS JOB!